Anger toward the patriarchy vs anger toward men
I really want women to understand that our anger toward the patriarchy/our society is valid.
And that it is not the same as our anger toward men.
It is so valid to be hurt that we have grown up in a society that has told us we are too much or not enough, that has shut our bodies and our power away, that has kept all of us from understanding female pleasure.
It’s why I still sometimes feel like I’m taking too long to have an orgasm. That my orgasms don’t matter. That if I don’t want sex it’s the most terrible thing I could do to my partner.
And
It is not men doing that to us.
Men grow up learning about sex from porn. No one in our society talks to them about sex. They are taught they must perform flawlessly and have huge dicks and never express emotion, ever. Men grow up, sure, having more pay and experiencing more privileges in society and they grow up not being able to have emotional expression.
They often do not have vulnerable relationships at all. They often think they need to act like the men they’ve been taught to idolize to be attractive or successful.
Men are hurting. That’s why their suicide rate is so high.
So making fun of men and laughing about how they can’t find our clits or how they just are useless or how they can’t open up or are emotionally unavailable is absolutely fucking hypocritical if you want to heal your relationship with men.
Start understanding that the man in front of you is hurt. (That doesn’t mean you have to heal him).
Start believing that men exist who care.
That men exist who are working on themselves. Men in therapy, in men’s groups, who are working through their conditioning and opening vulnerably.
Those men? They would not spend a minute with a woman still complaining about how there are no good men.
When you heal your wounds around men, you will attract great men.
When you have not healed your wounds around men, you will attract men who have not healed their wounds around women.
Your anger toward the system is valid. And we all have the power to transform the system – by healing our wounding with one another.