Writing – Page 5 – Demetra Gray

Writing Archive

This is the archive! Below you will find hundreds of pieces I have written about emotions, trusting life, my own journey, food, relationships, poetry, and more. They are listed in reverse chronological order. You can use the search bar if you’re looking for a particular topic, or you can scroll through and see what calls you.

All Writing

2023

Dec 03 • 12 years gone
Nov 25 • Final food journey update: how it intertwined with being in a cult, what I learned, & where I’m headed now
Nov 05 • The woman on the plane
Oct 28 • “Good” and “evil” & how I joined a spiritual cult
Oct 02 • Cease & Desist
Sep 20 • Spiritual Cults Continued
Aug 26 • Spiritual Cults
Jul 21 • Why I Chose to Marry My Husband
Jul 09 • 13 things I tell people all the time
Jun 07 • Re-emergence
Mar 12 • An internal cocoon.

2022

Dec 29 • Peaches
Dec 16 • The story of our love
Dec 11 • I’ve lost 33 lbs: an update on my food journey
Dec 02 • 11 years
Nov 16 • Turning 30 and the loss of my innocence
Oct 14 • The online coaching world & my business shifting
Oct 06 • My grandfather’s legacy & money as deep care
Aug 28 • Self-created grief vs true grief
Aug 28 • Feeling life all the way
Aug 25 • Choosing peace over chaos
Aug 01 • I once cried my eyes out to my ex because I didn’t want to brush my teeth
Jul 30 • How Jordan & I share our money
Jul 27 • Recession is not my reality
Jul 26 • Grief is not a thing we need to get rid of
Jul 24 • I chose my healing
Jun 29 • My thoughts on “flaunting privilege”
Jun 29 • Having it all the way, writing the future, & my current life
Jun 28 • The wisdom of fire
Jun 25 • A few years ago I might have Cared
Jun 20 • I married a man who values my expression most highly
Jun 15 • My perspective on veganism
Jun 13 • Gender, trans children, and reverence of the feminine
Jun 11 • The other day I had a doctor tell me that my eating disorder weight was “perfect.”
Jun 09 • What do we lose when we try to fix our bodies?
Jun 05 • When I was younger I used to go into the ocean and ask the ocean to take me away
May 31 • The academics & the scientists & the deeper magic of life
May 31 • Reflections on hiring help & pre-conception time
May 30 • The erotic nature of disgust
May 29 • What’s in my name
May 24 • A rant about the annoying comments people make during my food journey (video)
May 23 • Stepping on the scale for the first time in 6 months & where I’m at now with food & nourishment (full recovery)
May 18 • Why I can’t tell you what I do
May 14 • There are so many women getting lip injections
May 08 • How I made $50k in one day
Apr 21 • Raw liver & oysters: how gaining 115 lbs led me back to the same place, but entirely different (aka how I healed an eating disorder)
Apr 11 • her belly left the room
Apr 09 • Our minds do not know better than our bodies
Apr 08 • The mandates ended in BC today
Apr 08 • Sex after midnight
Apr 07 • Freedom comes from not being a victim
Apr 04 • How food became neutral to me
Apr 03 • I can just let this in, everything I’ve ever wanted
Feb 27 • I did not know I was restricting food
Feb 27 • I do not miss being skinny
Feb 21 • Imperfect ritual
Feb 16 • This body will birth babies

2021

Dec 03 • Ten years later
Sep 23 • Everything to do with my food journey & weight gain in chronological order
Sep 07 • I have never owned shorts like this in my life
Sep 03 • You can have the Big Lips
Aug 20 • Here are some hints you have disordered eating
Aug 13 • Some people are appalled I am not vaccinated
Aug 11 • The journey of eating more has been long & slow
Aug 11 • Something I love about Jordan is the way he will compliment other women
Aug 10 • I have often felt like I’ve had to apologize for the size that I am
Aug 10 • I am often suspicious when other people tell me they “have” to do something
Aug 03 • The first time I finally felt full – crying while eating a burger
Aug 01 • Sad celebration of the life of my past self
Jul 28 • I like luxury
Jul 15 • The hardest parts about this process – real update of where I’m at
Jul 05 • We are nature & the earth is not grieving
Jul 02 • My journey of becoming
Jun 30 • Sometimes he will be soft
Jun 19 • Truly going “all in” – normal grocery stores, processed food, and up 40 lbs
Jun 06 • This body wants sex
Jun 05 • I’ve gained 30 lbs: feeding myself fully & trusting my hunger
May 23 • Donuts & Doritos & crossing 160: going “out of control”
May 12 • Feeling like I “ruined” my body & having more than enough
May 08 • Healing my inner teenager & being hungry before bed
May 02 • Gaining weight: the first two months, going shopping
Apr 17 • Food & ice cream & weight gain & nourishment (the beginning)
Apr 15 • Running on empty: the pattern of not nourishing yourself until it is too late
Apr 08 • Here are some things you might not like about me
Apr 03 • No more trigger warnings
Apr 01 • Healthy relationships & my relationship with my dad
Mar 30 • Self-sacrifice is not love
Mar 20 • Messages from nature: Days 23-33 (part 3 of 3)
Mar 12 • Older men are not allowed to wake up
Mar 11 • Your partner is not the one who needs to do their work
Mar 01 • Leaning in while fighting and the urge to run away
Feb 25 • Hotel room transmission part 1: feeling the truth, body love, & full desire
Feb 22 • When menstrual blood on my face went viral on the internet
Feb 20 • The magic of a slow blowjob
Feb 19 • You don’t “have” anxiety
Feb 17 • 10 things I’ve learned about money that may surprise, disgust, & delight you
Feb 08 • there is no word
Feb 01 • The fitness world is built to disconnect you from your body
Jan 26 • Your ego will tell you that you need to have goals
Jan 25 • The moon does not say sorry
Jan 16 • Last night he drowned between my legs
Jan 14 • Where it’s really at for me are the quiet moments
Jan 10 • When you set boundaries other people will call you selfish
Jan 08 • My desire to have our home cleaned and the tricky layers underneath it
Jan 02 • Going through death & rebirth, together
Jan 01 • My word for 2021

2020

Dec 27 • This love is all I want forever
Dec 24 • My reflections on 2020
Dec 19 • A look inside my life right now: dropping Daddy/little girl, moving from maiden into mother
Dec 19 • Taking responsibility for your desire
Dec 19 • Do not rob yourself of the sensation of naming your true desire
Dec 18 • Messages from nature: Days 12-22 (part 2 of 3)
Dec 15 • If you have a KNOWING
Dec 15 • I am devoted to the sunrise
Dec 13 • Do you cry during sex? There’s nothing wrong with you
Dec 10 • Messages from nature: Days 1-11 (part 1 of 3)
Dec 09 • Sudden bursts of sensation within my body
Dec 08 • What I want to remember: a prayer for masculine and feminine union
Dec 07 • The massive call of the earth – that is me
Dec 06 • Everything is adjusting
Dec 05 • Spilling your sexual energy
Dec 04 • The eroticism of being seen
Dec 03 • 9 years ago today I lost my brother
Nov 29 • A woman called me ugly and this is how I responded
Nov 26 • We crave the things that are bad for us
Nov 25 • The earth longs to be seen by us
Nov 23 • I used to think I hated cooking & it was too girly of an activity for me
Nov 19 • Watch the stories your mind creates
Nov 16 • You desire the things that secretly disgust you
Nov 11 • Shunning makeup is a sign of wounding with the masculine
Nov 06 • Feeling and naming your full desire: Jordan pays for our lives & this is what that looks like
Nov 05 • They have told you to hide it
Oct 26 • A lady in the dark
Oct 13 • The mature feminine can sit within discomfort
Oct 11 • Your belly is supposed to hang down
Oct 06 • She says Yes
Oct 04 • A letter to Money
Sep 27 • Let us not use the term “victim-blaming” as an excuse to absolve ourselves of personal responsibility
Sep 26 • She keeps looking for her / everywhere she is not
Sep 23 • My “doing a good job” pattern & how it disappeared
Sep 20 • There is only dissent
Sep 17 • A festering rebirth
Sep 15 • the earth is cleaning house
Sep 06 • The exact practice I do every week to strengthen my relationship: creating a relationship ritual
Aug 23 • If you believe in conspiracies, let’s talk about your wounding with men
Aug 17 • How to have any type of orgasm you want
Aug 10 • Here are some things you should know about me
Aug 09 • Put me with the dead things
Aug 04 • The pulse of the earth / is what you are missing
Jul 31 • Women are unsafe in the world. And, we don’t have to make our decisions from a place of fear
Jul 30 • I softened into my feminine & attracted the most incredible partner
Jul 27 • If you think you have to “train” men, this is for you
Jul 25 • 8 ways to increase your desire for sex
Jul 08 • Saying “I don’t know” is a female response to a patriarchal culture
Jul 02 • Making fun of each other is criticism, and criticism is not love
Jun 26 • Do you always feel shitty after feeling really good? 5 things that will help
Jun 23 • You already deserve the things you want
Jun 19 • Creating safety during sex: the moment of disconnect & the importance of the pause
Jun 13 • My thoughts from the past few weeks: racism, privilege, & shadow
May 29 • 11 ways to increase your feminine energy (and what’s blocking you from it)
May 24 • Why I put my naked body on the internet
May 19 • 5 surprising things that can hold you back from getting what you want
May 16 • What the life of two sex & relationship coaches is really like under quarantine
May 13 • Doubting your relationship? 6 simple questions to ask yourself
May 10 • Pleasure is your birthright & this is why it matters
May 03 • The ultimate guide to processing emotions in a healthy way
Apr 30 • Sometimes I think about how women were considered property not even 200 years ago
Apr 21 • What to do if sex with your ex was better than sex with your current partner
Apr 15 • Are you meant to be alone? 6 signs you’re blocking a new relationship
Apr 13 • It’s not your fault: how past sexual experiences limit your sex life today
Apr 08 • This is how to feel safe embodying your feminine energy
Apr 05 • Why having a funeral for yourself is the ritual you need in your life right now
Apr 01 • To the masculine: she just wants to know that she can trust you
Mar 31 • Let it rock you
Mar 27 • The same experiences you can have with psychedelics are possible through sex
Mar 24 • Your wake-up call for how you’re living your life right now
Mar 21 • 7 things to do if you need space from your partner during quarantine
Mar 19 • the crows, unconcerned, will be happy to eat our bodies when they fall
Mar 16 • Finding pleasure in the time of pandemic (and crisis in general)
Mar 13 • you’re drowning in the news (covid-19)
Mar 12 • 9 things you must understand to stop letting doubt and fear run your life
Mar 11 • This is what self-pleasure can look like
Mar 10 • 51 real-life examples of how I set boundaries and ask for what I want during sex
Mar 08 • How to stop thinking about your body during sex
Mar 06 • The way you have been taught to feel is wrong
Mar 04 • You are not broken.
Mar 02 • Tell your partner when you self-pleasure. Not because he owns your body, but because you do
Feb 28 • 8 ways to fight better with your partner
Feb 26 • This one thing is holding you back from feeling free to be who you are
Feb 25 • How to be the Queen of Sex: 7 ways to get everything you want & drive your partner wild
Feb 21 • There is wisdom in your anger – this is how you process it
Feb 20 • How to love your period even when it’s painful
Feb 16 • How I got over my breakup in 3 weeks
Feb 15 • You can get wet every single time you have sex
Feb 06 • Every relationship has a lesson. What lesson do you want to be learning?
Feb 03 • You were never a virgin and nothing was ever taken from you
Jan 31 • How to have super long orgasms (and what they actually sound like)
Jan 28 • I won’t hate men, the way you want me to
Jan 27 • The difference between submission and surrender
Jan 26 • There is room for both your boundaries and your feminine radiance
Jan 25 • How to ask for things in a more feminine way
Jan 21 • Once, he wrapped his hands around my neck
Jan 03 • maybe one day I will tell my children

2019

Dec 20 • She creates watercolor
Dec 09 • Nothing, herself
Dec 02 • Last week I turned 27
Nov 15 • Submissive
Nov 05 • Pleasure in dissolving (being in Winter)
Oct 14 • My heart felt expanded, opening
Oct 08 • Sexual energy is emotionally healing
Sep 20 • They will tell you you are unclean
Sep 11 • Anger toward the patriarchy vs anger toward men
Sep 10 • Why it hurts to be angry toward men
Sep 06 • What I learned from a month of pleasure
Sep 04 • Queen of Blowjobs
Sep 02 • Why taking risks is so important
Aug 31 • 16 beliefs I have now that make my life way more fun
Aug 30 • Integrating my inner child
Aug 25 • Dress up for yourself
Aug 19 • I love you, Body
Aug 18 • I get angry that there are teenage girls who think their bodies are untouchable
Aug 14 • “Don’t get your hopes up” is the worst advice ever
Aug 06 • I used to be silent during sex
Aug 06 • Communicating with nature
Jul 31 • All my life I’ve been touched in ways that weren’t about my pleasure
Jul 30 • Connecting with pussy
Jul 26 • Every moment of my life is filled with pleasure
Jul 24 • I started crying and the sky started pouring in the darkness
Jul 23 • Masculine and feminine penetration
Jul 21 • You can be all things at once
Jul 13 • It is safe
Jul 11 • The moments when I am most impressed by masculinity
Jul 05 • The story of my body
Jun 29 • I never had good relationships with women
Jun 21 • You have never been too much
Jun 17 • “I don’t want to” is the only reason you need for saying no to anything, ever
Jun 09 • Normalizing pubic hair
Jun 08 • We had just finished doing a practice when I heard him sobbing
Jun 07 • I’m fucking tired of the world telling me I can’t have pleasure
May 23 • I am protesting
May 15 • I read an article yesterday that mentioned corpses had more rights than me, since they have bodily autonomy
Apr 23 • Everybody has been lying to you
Apr 11 • My body can grow babies and I can kill them if I want to
Mar 22 • You can report us

2018

Dec 21 • Solstice Bleeding
Nov 21 • I used to spend my time worrying about what other people thought of me
Oct 19 • “You post some weird shit”
Sep 21 • My blood came today. Eighteen days late.
Aug 10 • Cervix art
Jul 11 • You are a jungle-child
May 15 • I will do this until people are no longer shocked by it