The moments when I am most impressed by masculinity are when I see men being willing to step into all sides of themselves.
When I watch their tears.
When I hear what they are afraid of.
It makes an entire part of my body come online and say: this is brave. This is a man I can trust. This is a man who allows me to relax and surrender into my own femininity.
The deepest fear of a lot of my male clients is that they’ll be seen as weak.
Sometimes I say, “what would it mean if you were weak?”
They often don’t know at first – but underneath it is usually a fear of not being respected and loved.
Because real men are strong, right?
Men not feeling allowed to express intense emotion – whether that’s anger, sadness, or fear – negatively impacts all of us.
I don’t want a partner who feels he can’t show certain sides of himself. It makes me feel unsafe – because if he can’t express all of himself, how can I feel free to express all of myself with him?
What if we committed to expressing all sides of ourselves, together?
What if we committed to being more fully well-rounded humans, with our messiness and irritations and grief?
The only people who think it’s unattractive to see other people display emotion … are people who are uncomfortable with their own emotions.
You can be weak and still be very lovable. And at the same time, showing emotion isn’t weak. True power, confidence, and strength comes from vulnerability – not from pretending vulnerability doesn’t exist. ❤️
If you liked this piece, you might also enjoy:
– Where it’s really at for me are the quiet moments
– Reflections on hiring help & pre-conception time
– To the masculine: she just wants to know that she can trust you
– I can just let this in, everything I’ve ever wanted