Why I can’t tell you what I do
“What do you do” is a hard question for me to answer because I don’t fix broken people.
Nobody comes to me with a problem that needs to be solved.
Not really, even if they think they do.
They quickly discover that the thing in them that is pulling them to me, is the only reason they are here.
It doesn’t matter what they want.
Because the only thing we are doing is serving that deeper thing.
What I do does not even make sense to me.
Most of the time I do not feel like I am “doing” anything.
I am just there, and I open my mouth and the earth talks through me, and my body senses things and it knows what to name, and it knows when something is true or not, and there are things I couldn’t know but I do.
There is no problem I am solving because the essence of the work that I do is that there are no problems.
Everything is an opportunity for seeing and reflection and play but there is nothing wrong.
What I “do,” is let myself be brought to my knees by the churning of life, the beauty and the disaster, and I choose to follow and listen to this current.
And then other people who feel this thing, where they want this quality that you cannot quite put words to because it is so intangible, yet so powerful, has such a life-altering presence..
Those people find their way.
And sometimes they say, I am here for no reason, I just know.
And sometimes their mind has all sorts of reasons for why they are pulled and what they want and how they have tried to logic it to themselves
But really it’s because they just know.
And we enter energetic spaces together and magic happens.
And things fall apart and come back together
A melting of puzzle pieces and a re-absorbing of Earth itself
And it is like clockwork.
And also like a never ending puddle.
And nothing is happening.
Until one day you realize life just looks different.
And it’s like you have become the Earth around you, the flow of life, you are participating in it.
You are influencing it and you are being spoken to by it.
It is communicating with you.
Your insides are matching the outside.
And it is all just one.
And your life starts to look the way other people want theirs to look
Except you are drinking from the fountain of truth
Seated on the floor
Unafraid to get muddy
And you belong in all places.
People want to know why, or how
How is it done
What will we do
What do you do
I feel myself exist in the Earth as one being
I feel where you are out of alignment with that thing
I devote my whole life to that thing
And I show up
And the energy does the rest.
People often do one call with me and their life begins to come undone
Breakups, job losses, grieving unlocks, sharp realizations
It seems coincidental until it happens over and over and over and over again
It has nothing to do with me, Demetra, the human
It doesn’t even have anything to do with what we “do”
You said yes to the energy
You said yes to the energy I carry
You said yes to Her
To your own knowing
Even if only for a second.
And if you feel her she is here
And she is not going away.
How could I know
I know and I don’t know, at the same time
I get out of the way
And I try to get my human on board to do this every day
Because she doesn’t always want to.
I could never explain to you what I do.
You either feel it, sense it, feel that thing light up in you … or you don’t.
If you liked this piece, you might also enjoy:
– I married a man who values my expression most highly