Let us not use the term “victim blaming” as an excuse to absolve ourselves and others of personal responsibility.
What I notice is that women often feel triggered by my posts, and throw that term at me to defend themselves from having to consider how they have a hand in creating their own lives.
If something happens to you, it is not your “fault.”
Read that again. Calm your body down. Read it again.
If you have trauma, you are the only person who can unwind that trauma. Just because something happened “to” you doesn’t mean you get to vomit it all over the world.
Nobody is coming to save you. Nobody is responsible for fixing you.
This is actually a blessing. Because it means that you get to save yourself.
And what THAT means is that you get to realize you never needed to be saved in the first place.
It means you develop an internal sense of safety and a discernment around what is TRUE.
Looking at your trauma, being gentle with it, being angry about it and grieving it, is an important step.
But do not mistake it for the end of the road. It is not the destination. It is not truly you.
There can be a lot of specialness in trauma. Our ego likes to use trauma as an excuse for separation. We become important, we get attention, no one can ever truly understand us, we gain an excuse for harming others – and continuing to harm ourselves, honestly – in the process.
Your trauma is valid. It deserves to be worked through. And it is not YOU.
There is a world where every. Single. Aspect of life is exquisite and delicious. Including your trauma.
That is the world I want women to see. To taste. To feel the power simultaneously in their sovereignty and in their interconnectedness with everything.