The erotic nature of disgust

I find disgust to be one of the most potent teachers. 

Disgust often points to desire. 

A deep, disapproved of place of desire in the body. 

So forbidden that it has disguised itself and come back in killer form. 

People have often wondered how I have 0 insecurity around sex 

How my body looks during sex

How I can scream and growl and cry and puke 

This has been the biggest thing I have alchemized 

Even before I gained weight

My own deep disgust and hatred toward my body

The sensation of disgust, of being gross

Of being unloveable and unwanted

Is highly erotic 

Anything you find disgusting

That elicits that charged sensation of “ew” in your body

I guarantee you has desire attached to it

You might think you are outraged and disgusted by ~insert name of gross old man politician here~

But you also kind of want him to fuck you, don’t you? 

You might think me getting fat or putting menstrual blood on my face is entirely disgusting and gross

But you also kind of want that for yourself, don’t you?

Not your mind 

But the sensation of aliveness that lives in your body 

The sooner that you can admit to this the better

Because all that energy you spend being disgusted by things, being disgusted by yourself 

Is currently creating more of the disgusting things in your life

Because that’s how much you want it 

And if you can just admit how much you desire the grossness

And enjoy it to its fullest extent

Then suddenly that highly potent energy becomes available 

And you can create with it.

 

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– When menstrual blood on my face went viral on the internet

– Hotel room transmission part 1: feeling the truth, body love, & true desire

– The pulse of the earth / is what you are missing