The problem with academics through my lens is that being an academic becomes a Very Important Identity.
In the world of academia, academia is very important.
Most academics learn they are Great and Smart and Hard-working people.
And they learn to conform to a rigid set of structures and rules.
They write the way they are told.
They learn to think the way they are told.
They follow the path that is laid out.
In my experience academics are extremely disembodied.
And why wouldn’t they be? They are taught to value their mind above all.
They have logic and frameworks and theories that their thoughts fit inside of.
They can organize their world according to their specific systems.
They rely on their sources who are often just other disembodied people who have been taught to have the same world view.
Academia & science give a sense of certainty in a world where there is absolutely none.
Now don’t get me wrong I love academia.
I went to four different universities and quit right before I graduated.
I was even thinking the other day about how much I loved standardized tests 🤣 (yes, seriously)
And on a deeper level I am very appreciative of these professions and that they exist.
Academia gave me a broader lens and new ways to think, western medicine and science saved my brother’s life, I am grateful to have options.
And. The way these systems are set up in our world mean they pump out these people who have been molded and are often entirely disconnected from their bodies.
The problem with this is that the intelligence of the universe lives in our bodies.
And the feminine – which is what I term this deeper undercurrent and pulse of life – is way more vast than our human minds could ever begin to understand.
I came across this account the other day where the woman used logic and terms to break apart spiritual teachings and opinions. This was her whole brand.
And honestly it made my head hurt.
It was clear to me in reading that she did not actually understand many of the teachings she was breaking apart.
The whole point of spiritual teachings is embodiment.
You can understand something mentally all you want but until it’s in your body your life will not shift and you will not really get it.
Labels are so useful to a point.
It can be deeply helpful and validating to have a label for something you are seeing or experiencing.
But if you do not understand that the label is just that – a word we have made up to try to still something that is ever evolving, shapeshifting, not exactly the word – then you attach to it and your mind becomes rigid around it.
Further disconnecting you from your actual experience and from your body.
We try to break life down into these numbers and bullet points and measurements and when we find that it matches we become so excited.
We can finally make some SENSE of what we are experiencing.
Because it’s so terrifying to be alive isn’t it.
But the universe is far more intelligent than you are.
So it’s cool to see the numbers match and things fit into boxes but there will always be more we don’t understand.
A long time ago I got tired of the boxes and started to focus only on embodying the pieces we don’t mentally understand.
My deeper knowing.
The truth I feel in my body.
The current of life.
Really hard to access if you are not in your body.
My life and the lives of the people that surround me are evidence of what happens when you follow this deeper thing.
Most people are too scared to do what it takes.
It will bring a lot of your life down and your idea of yourself down to listen to that thing.
You will disappoint your religion and your boss and your family.
It’s not fun. A lot of the time.
It requires a lot of feeling.
I know what is true and I follow truth.
I channel energy through my body.
Nothing I do is planned.
I am in service to this energy of life and this energy adjusts me.
I have lived lifetimes in the past few years.
People come to work with me and they leave a different person.
I’m sure someone could logic all these things away.
And what they would entirely miss is the magic that has it happen.
It is like if you were to try to eat all the individual chemical components that make up an apple.
Is that the same as eating an apple?
Another thing they are trying to do is put wombs in the bodies of men who feel like women so they can give birth.
Is this the same as birth?
It would not be a surprise if our connection to this deeper thing was wiped away again. It has barely even come back.
The fertility of humanity is dropping rapidly.
We are moving closer to self-induced extinction.
We have shut down this magic for thousands of years.
I call it magic, people might roll their eyes at magic.
But this magic – this intangible feeling, intelligence, flow of nature, of earth, of life, of cycles, love, truth – the thing that cannot be captured with words – this is the only thing that matters.
We have become so separated from it.
We are in a time where the only thing we can trust is this deeper thing.
It may tear your life down.
It might mean that your idea of yourself gets threatened and questioned and wiped away.
It feels precious to have what I have.
We are very lucky.
And it is not really luck it is devotion.
And I think it is sad.
That most people will never be in their bodies.
And will never feel what it is to have a life that is created and led in this way.
Instead they write it off as uninformed, chance, stupid, making it up.
The only thing that led me to this place was listening to the knowing in me that said this is not it.
This is not all.
I don’t choose to live like this.
I don’t believe this is the only way.
And I trust life so much
I trust that the story of humanity is perfect.
And, as a human I just feel sad we are so far away.
That our society has created ways we are just locked in our heads for all of our lives and can’t see it any differently.
The only reason I do any of what I do is because of how much I am devoted to life.
So that I can be a part of the map that says this matters. What you feel is true. You can have a beautiful connected magic life.
The people leading our world are so sad. Honestly. So disconnected. So stressed. The journalists you read and the doctors you go to and the politicians who make the decisions that impact you.
A type of woman I see a version of a lot in my work is a successful smart woman who has followed the path society/her family has set out for her. She appears very !happy!!! And loves her life!!
And has a great job!! Maybe she even goes to regular therapy! She works out! She is thin!
She is checking all the boxes!!
And behind the scenes she is stressed and sad and miserable. She often secretly doesn’t like her partner or is totally disconnected from her se x. She is starving for both food and rest. She doesn’t know if her career is really what she wants. The money didn’t make her happy. The image of her perfect life didn’t make her happy.
I see it in my doctors. In the people who speak to us on screens. Activists with their platforms. Public figures. Our leaders.
People are so sad.
How couldn’t they be?
They live in a society that has stripped itself of magic.
And that magic is the only thing that really matters.
If you liked this piece, you might also enjoy:
– Watch the stories your mind creates
– Why I can’t tell you what I do
– When you set boundaries other people will call you Selfish
– I have often felt like I have to apologize for the size that I am