He was sleeping.
I had not gone to bed yet, our last night here, journaling and dreaming
And just feeling the peacefulness of the moment.
As I lay there, soaking it in – the waves outside, the cool white sheets, him next to me
Suddenly I really wanted sex.
My mind was like, really? It’s 12:30 am. You should be going to sleep.
I have not wanted sex in the middle of the night in.. I can’t even remember
I felt hungry and got up to get a snack.
I got back in bed and there it still was.. a different kind of hunger
Electric in my body
I realized there was no way I’d be sleeping even if I tried
I wanted him, now.
My mind tried to do its thing
“You can’t just wake him up. He’s been sleeping for hours”
“What if you wake him up and he says no?”
Or worse –
“What if you wake him up and then you don’t even want to have sex after you start?
Do you for sure know you want to?”
My masculine wanting the feminine to give a solid plan.
Wanting to know exactly this will happen so I can decide if it’s worth it
I laughed at myself and came back to what was true.
What was true was that I wanted to wake him up
And I couldn’t know what would happen after that
And so I snuggled against his back
Reached down my hand, gently, til he woke up enough to roll over
Took him in my mouth and he moaned…
Happy honeymoon to us
If you liked this piece, you might also enjoy:
– Last night he drowned between my legs
– Taking responsibility for your desire