My “doing a good job” pattern & how it disappeared

For pretty much all of my life, I’ve had this pattern of wanting to be told that I’m “doing a good job.”⁣

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When I was little, I was super praised for being good at things. For my grades, my athleticism, my performance. ⁣

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I was praised for my “light,” for my happiness and ability to put my emotions to the side to benefit others. ⁣

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I was praised for my beauty – not my natural beauty, but the parts of me that others validated as important. My butt, my breasts, my “hot” ness. ⁣

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My way of looking at the world turned into: “Am I doing a good job?”⁣

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As I got older, I searched it out EVERYWHERE. I wanted to know that someone, anyone, approved of what I did. The internet. Random men. My parents. My partners. ⁣

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“Tell me I’m doing a good job,” I would say to Jordan, at the beginning of our relationship. ⁣

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I knew the validation had to come from myself first. So I would try to say to my inner child, “You’re doing a good job.”⁣

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These last few weeks I have really started to sink in to a pure, deep feminine way of “doing” business. Really, of being in service. ⁣

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Women are signing up for WOUND almost every day at the moment. My 1:1 coaching is more in demand, sales come through my website every night, my bank account is higher than it’s ever been. ⁣

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By all accounts, I should be having a FIELD DAY with my “I’m doing a good job” pattern. ⁣

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But it’s not there anymore. ⁣

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For the first time in my entire life, it’s just completely disappeared, fallen away. The words hold no charge. ⁣

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Because suddenly it’s clear that it’s not really me. I haven’t been “doing” anything. ⁣

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I’ve just been opening to the energy, allowing the energy to pour through me. ⁣

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And the energy is pulling people in. Effortlessly. ⁣