My “doing a good job” pattern & how it disappeared
For pretty much all of my life, I’ve had this pattern of wanting to be told that I’m “doing a good job.”⁣
When I was little, I was super praised for being good at things. For my grades, my athleticism, my performance. ⁣
I was praised for my “light,” for my happiness and ability to put my emotions to the side to benefit others. ⁣
I was praised for my beauty – not my natural beauty, but the parts of me that others validated as important. My butt, my breasts, my “hot” ness. ⁣
My way of looking at the world turned into: “Am I doing a good job?”⁣
As I got older, I searched it out EVERYWHERE. I wanted to know that someone, anyone, approved of what I did. The internet. Random men. My parents. My partners. ⁣
“Tell me I’m doing a good job,” I would say to Jordan, at the beginning of our relationship. ⁣
I knew the validation had to come from myself first. So I would try to say to my inner child, “You’re doing a good job.”⁣
These last few weeks I have really started to sink in to a pure, deep feminine way of “doing” business. Really, of being in service. ⁣
Women are signing up for WOUND almost every day at the moment. My 1:1 coaching is more in demand, sales come through my website every night, my bank account is higher than it’s ever been. ⁣
By all accounts, I should be having a FIELD DAY with my “I’m doing a good job” pattern. ⁣
But it’s not there anymore. ⁣
For the first time in my entire life, it’s just completely disappeared, fallen away. The words hold no charge. ⁣
Because suddenly it’s clear that it’s not really me. I haven’t been “doing” anything. ⁣
I’ve just been opening to the energy, allowing the energy to pour through me. ⁣
And the energy is pulling people in. Effortlessly. ⁣
And I’m just laying here like… wow. ⁣
There was never anything to “do.”⁣
I never had to be “good at” anything. ⁣
I am intrinsically worthy. And my only role is to open to what wants to come through me. ⁣

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