If you think you have to “train” men, this is for you

If you think you have to “train” men

If you feel glee when you “put him in his place”

You will continually end up with men who are submissive to you.

Who cast down their eyes when you get angry

Who say “I don’t know, what do you think?” to every problem that arises

Who shut down when you ask them to speak

Who cannot bring you pleasure during sex

You will complain they don’t know how to be vulnerable

You will complain they are not doing enough

You will roll your eyes about how he could never bring you the pleasure you could bring yourself

All while you stand there, his balls in your hand

And you wonder why you are disconnected from your softness, your radiance

Your intuition

Your magic

You will wonder why you do not feel fulfilled in relationship

And you will blame this all on him

And you will say “Men need to…”

You will bond over what men lack

You will laugh with your friends

You will make fun of him in front of others

As you ignore the way the patriarchy has its fangs in your body

How its poison spits through you

How you cannot hold your wounds

Are not willing to embrace your pain

You will vomit it over him instead

And you will never see his softness

His life-shaking dominance

His Power

The way his body lights up from your beauty

The way he can move worlds for you

You will never feel his strength

The way his solidity, his presence can electrify you in an instant

Soothe you in a moment

You will never see the beauty of his wounding

You will not feel fucked open by his existence

You will not understand his pain

You will not receive his stories

He will not tell you. You are not safe

And if you want it…

If you want to feel the gifts of men rain down upon you

To feel surrounded by men who love you

To attract a man who sees you

You must feel the pain

Feel how it burns

How explosive the grief

The centuries of how your grandmothers were treated

The present day societal anger

The lack

Swim deep there, in those waters

And come up to the surface



Take responsibility for yourself

Stop projecting

And watch your world open


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