If you think you have to “train” men
If you feel glee when you “put him in his place”
You will continually end up with men who are submissive to you.
Who cast down their eyes when you get angry
Who say “I don’t know, what do you think?” to every problem that arises
Who shut down when you ask them to speak
Who cannot bring you pleasure during sex
You will complain they don’t know how to be vulnerable
You will complain they are not doing enough
You will roll your eyes about how he could never bring you the pleasure you could bring yourself
All while you stand there, his balls in your hand
And you wonder why you are disconnected from your softness, your radiance
Your intuition
Your magic
You will wonder why you do not feel fulfilled in relationship
And you will blame this all on him
And you will say “Men need to…”
You will bond over what men lack
You will laugh with your friends
You will make fun of him in front of others
As you ignore the way the patriarchy has its fangs in your body
How its poison spits through you
How you cannot hold your wounds
Are not willing to embrace your pain
You will vomit it over him instead
And you will never see his softness
His life-shaking dominance
His Power
The way his body lights up from your beauty
The way he can move worlds for you
You will never feel his strength
The way his solidity, his presence can electrify you in an instant
Soothe you in a moment
You will never see the beauty of his wounding
You will not feel fucked open by his existence
You will not understand his pain
You will not receive his stories
He will not tell you. You are not safe
And if you want it…
If you want to feel the gifts of men rain down upon you
To feel surrounded by men who love you
To attract a man who sees you
You must feel the pain
Feel how it burns
How explosive the grief
The centuries of how your grandmothers were treated
The present day societal anger
The lack
Swim deep there, in those waters
And come up to the surface
Stop
Contributing
Take responsibility for yourself
Stop projecting
And watch your world open
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