I do not miss being skinny

I do not miss being skinny
I do not miss
wanting my abdomen
to look like a thin
hard
board

I do not miss my knuckles jutting out
My veins
Showing how little
of me
existed

I do not miss looking
Hollow

I love resting my hands on my belly
Underneath her fold
Right above my pussy
Warm, cozy
Body
I love each new streak
Of red
Painting my skin
The expansion I have earned

I love feeling my ass
The way it surrounds and envelops
Hands
Full plump ripply
I love being spooned
His hands on my belly
Being swallowed by my breasts
Like swimming in the ocean, he says

I used to get off on my hip bones
How sharp
How muscular
my legs
How prominent
My kneecaps
I do not want to “lose weight”
I do not want to be less
I do not wish I stopped
Sooner

I want stores to carry my new size
I want chairs to be wider
I want to know what styles look good on me now
I want to move with ease

But I do not want to lose some of my
Body
Each breast like a piece
Of Fruit
Pussy plump and juicy
The sides of my outer
upper thighs
Handles to hold

The deep curves of my waist
Dark and inviting
My chin full and
Round

An expression
Of nature
Herself

A woman who is
HERE

I tried so long to find an image
That captured
This
The way I just love to lay
And hold
Myself
Hand under each fold

and all I could find were stock photos
of tape measures wrapped around
boards
Sad expressions
Lists of ways to starve
yourself
slowly
to finally have It
Looking twenty years
Older
Analyzing
Each energetic
of each morsel
But at least you are Small
at least you do not
Make anyone uncomfortable
or take up
Too much
Room

In the name of
Health

We can see your Bones
But at least we cannot see your
Dimples

My laughter is like the sound of bells, now

I took my own photo

Here we celebrate the natural expression of Body
Herself

 

If you liked this piece, you might also enjoy: 

– How food became neutral to me

– I have never owned shorts like this in my life

– Here are some hints you have disordered eating

– The first time I finally felt full – crying while eating a burger

– Everything to do with my food journey & weight gain in chronological order