Grief is not a thing we need to get rid of
Often in our society we talk about grief as if it were this external thing that gets stuck inside of us, that we need to move through and get rid of.
That is how I used to relate to it also, and it makes sense at different points of our journey.
But really stuck grief is kind of like a piece of food that is just sitting in your stomach.
We don’t need to stick a tube down your throat and go pull the food out.
You just need to digest the food.
Relax and let your body do its thing.
Parts of it will deeply nourish you and other parts will release out.
In my experience Grief is not the same as the loss or pain it often rides along with.
Grief is the willingness to feel and be cracked open by Life.
To love something or someone or some past version of yourself so much that it comes through in energetic waves.
Grief is the invitation to open, to be in the full experience of what it is to love.
Some people are hardened by grief. The ocean is crashing on the shore and they turn their back and go inside the house, shutting windows til they can’t hear it anymore
We can do that but we miss the beauty and the healing waters of the ocean.
Grief is healing. It is a teacher and a friend.
We often imagine it as mean, or bad, or scary, or we are victimized by it. I certainly felt all of these things.
But getting to know grief, welcoming this energy in your system, forming a relationship, is one of the most powerful relationships you will ever have.
Because ultimately what grief can teach us if we are open is that it is possible to feel whatever life brings us.
That no matter what happens, even if the worst happens, you would be able to stay open- or at least come back to openness- again and again. That you would be able to feel it all.
To be willing to fully feel all of life
Anything life brings you is brought in, allowed to transform you, you transform it.
It alchemizes through your body, through your tissue, when you let it move
Grief will have you melted on the floor, screaming at the sky, your insides out on the table
And yet it is always waiting for you to truly receive it
It can feel like the poison but it is actually the medicine
Let it in all the way
Let it move all the way
Let it crack you open until it is not possible to do anything but to be in it, with it
It is born of love and it makes room for even more love
And that is all that is ever possible
If we are open
More and more Love
If you liked this piece, you might also enjoy:
– The erotic nature of disgust
– We have been spoon fed an idea of what a good life looks like
– Freedom comes from not being a victim