I did not know I was restricting food
What I want you to understand
Is that I did not know I was restricting
Food
I did not sit down to each meal and think
I will eat less
I ate what I wanted
I said
I ate how much I wanted
What I wanted was just tiny
Because I was a
Good
Woman
What I wanted was
Healthy
With a capital
H
depending on which way of eating
Was the correct way
That day
And it was normalized.
glutenfreedairyfreeveganintermittentfastingketolowsugarnosugar
Let me read the nutrition label on everything
And they said
It is not bad to want to change your body!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It can be Fun!!!
You will be thinking about food
Forever
You will be analyzing your diet
Forever
You will be tracking your movement
Forever
But it will be
Fun
The cure to your health problems is
Less
Let us laugh
Together
At how much I want sugar but I cannot have it
At how bad I was today, for eating
Let us bond
Over control
Over good
And bad
Behavior
I didn’t know how many Rules I had
How many bites of desserts was too much
How many glasses of milk was too much
The right snacks to eat
Until I put everything on the table
And let my body
Choose
And felt the terror of what it might be like
To let her take over
To admit that my mind
Had not done the best job after all
There is a lot to come undone.
We all have it.
Smaller = better
Purer = better
If you liked this piece, you might also enjoy:
– Our minds do not know better than our bodies
– How food became neutral to me
– The journey of eating more has been long and slow
– Everything to do with my food journey & weight gain in chronological order